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"Angels can fly, because they take themselves lightly"

A quote by a J.K. Chesterton, which I first saw on a wall somewhere in San Francisco ten years ago.
I honestly had no idea what it meant - my limited English back then didn't help me at all.
Surely I wanted to fly, metaphorically speaking. But "lightly"?
Why would I even do that, it's been all my life that I've been trying to take myself seriously.
Isn't that what being an adult is all about?
Painting "Summer grapes", behind the scenes
So here I am, one of many lost millennials. Growing up I always thought at some point everything would just turn right - we become adults like this - click! - that's it, you're an adult, you know how to deal with things. Now you understand everything and know how to live right. I am still sort of disappointed this never happens to anyone :)
Apparently, you turn 30 and nothing changes, you stay as lost as you were before. And if you don't take yourself lightly, this is where you get completely screwed up.

I don't want to be disrespectful to those who have to face serious issues in life and take huge responsibilities with no outside help - adulthood is hard, and we all have to navigate it with different levels of difficulty on each front - work, family, money, children, housekeeping... it's a lot! And we get pressured to get into all that, and then we get guilty for not being good enough at adulting.
I just think it's important to remind yourself that it's okay to be tired. It's okay to be confused sometimes. It's okay to be frustrated and sad, and not feeling the best. It's okay to feel weak. It's perfectly fine to not know everything and to not being able to find the ways immediately. It's fine to be who you are. Take yourself lightly. Flying or not flying, it really helps to drop excess weight and move on with ease.

So, taking myself lightly, I've made some steps forward and now it feels like if I take myself too seriously again, I'll never get another painting done. The best paintings which really make me happy were done in an hour or two, and it means I really connected to myself and followed my heart. Instead of focusing on every little stroke and getting frustrated for not being "good enough" (I want to thank my imposter syndrome for keeping my frustration level stable).

Anyway, I've decided I'm just going to do it as long as it makes me happy. Part time or full time, doesn't matter, I just don't want any pressure on my shoulders, just being happy doing what I do. Because it's okay to do whatever the hell you want to do :)

This is how my flying journey starts. I'll keep you posted!


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